


I am nothing

by diangelonnico



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: M/M, annabeth isn't mentioned until later chapters, side reynabeth but not tagging it since only mentioned in passing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-16
Updated: 2014-11-16
Packaged: 2018-02-25 16:03:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,368
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2627747
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/diangelonnico/pseuds/diangelonnico
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jason is in love with Nico, and Nico is in love with Jason. But with Jason as a lord and Nico as a servant in 1920's England, how could it ever work? Employed as Jason's valet, Nico faces some tough decisions as Jason does too.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I am nothing

**Author's Note:**

> It's a bit angsty but oh well. Heavily inspired by downton abbey.

The young man, with dark unkempt hair and a slim body knelt down to untie Jason’s shoes. He took them off his feet one by one and set them aside at the end of the bed.  “What am I going to do?” Jason asked running a hand tiredly over his face, pulling down the skin round his eyes.

“I do not know.” Nico replied courteously, now standing in front of him.

“I don’t want to get married to some shallow heiress who I could never love.”  Jason said.

“And why is that my lord?” Nico asked curiously.

Jason smiled up at him and stood up. He took the buttons of Nico’s waistcoat and unbuttoned them slowly. “Because I love _you_.” He said simply as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

Nico looked down. “You have to marry. And you cannot marry me. You know that.”

“I so wish I could.” Jason said caressing Nico’s face and bringing his dark eyes up to meet his own blue ones. He kissed him gently and Nico put his hands round his neck deepening the kiss. “Will you be staying tonight?” Jason asked breathless, his cheeks slightly red.

“Perhaps. If you want me too.” Nico said.

“I would very much like you too.” Jason smiled pushing Nico’s hair back out of his face. Nico smiled.

“How I wish I could stay with you every night. Instead of these rare occasions when you come here to visit. Will you take the daughter as your wife?” Nico asked.

“I may. I cannot remain unmarried for the rest of my life. I have to at least try to produce an heir.”  Jason said, the frown back on his face.

“What of me?” Nico asked and Jason went silent. He thought for a moment.

“You will come with me as my valet. Since my last one resigned I haven’t even thought of looking for another – but you . . . you could be my valet and spend every night in my room if you wish. Spend every night with me.”

“Until you’re married.” Nico said, looking down again.

Jason looked down too. “Until I have produced an heir.” He murmured.  “I am not obliged to share a bed with my wife. In fact after a son is born it is positively frowned upon.”

“And sharing a bed with your valet even more so.” Nico said.

“Do you want to be with me or not?” Jason asked.

“I do. I really do.” Nico said taking Jason’s hands.

“Hand your resignation in tonight then. Be at my house in London by tomorrow evening. I will cover the cost of travel.” Jason told Nico, his hands in his.

Nico looked up with wonder in his eyes. “We’re really doing this?”

“Yes we are doing this.” Jason smiled.

“Will that be all sir?” Nico asked.

“Do not call me sir in private and yes, go and pack your bags Nico.” Jason said affectionately.

Nico grinned as he shut the door and Jason was left to undress himself and go to bed.

***

“And who are you?” The Butler, Mr. Zhang asked as Nico walked through the door and set down his small case.

He held his head up high. “I am Lord Grace’s new valet, Nico di Angelo.” He said confidently.

“Ah. I didn’t expect you so soon, I only received a telegram this morning.” Mr. Zhang said.

“He was quite eager to have a valet back sir.” Nico said.

“Well, go upstairs and get settled and then come back down for Hazel to show you around the house before Lord Grace gets home.” Zhang told Nico.

Nico climbed the infinite amount of stairs and found his room, setting his bag on the bed. He looked around at the narrow bed, the shabby wardrobe and the miserable desk and chair. He sighed. Hopefully he would not be spending many nights in here.

After unpacking he went back downstairs and was introduced to everyone. Hazel was the sole housemaid, with her curly hair pulled back in a tight bun and her golden eyes a contrast against her dark skin. She smiled and shook Nico’s hand and Nico smiled back. He had a feeling she was kind.

Hazel introduced him to the house cook, Piper and her kitchen maid, Rachel. They were both kind however Hazel told him they kept to themselves.  Lord Grace had one footman, Percy Jackson and that was it for the staff. Jackson seemed a bit of a wild card with his troublemaker smile but Hazel said he was truly good at heart.

After introduction to all the staff Hazel showed Nico around the house. It was smaller than Lady Reyna’s house that he had previously worked in, and Nico guessed he would like that better. There was less staff here too, which was always good since Nico didn’t get along with everyone. Perhaps this would be a new beginning, after Bianca had succumbed to Spanish Influenza, Nico had never quite been the same, without his partner in crime as Lady Reyna had always said.

After the tour Nico was taken back downstairs and told to await Lord Graces return. When he did come back, Nico met the car, along with Hazel, Percy and Frank (Mr. Zhang), and took Jason’s bags, while Percy took the rest. Once they were inside and going up the stairs Percy started talking.

“he looked at you fondly.” Percy speculated.

“What can I say? I’m a good valet.”

“But in your last house you were a footman.”

“And?”

Percy grunted and continued carrying the bags. Eventually they reached Jason’s room, and Percy pushed the door open, setting the bags down on the floor. “I’ll leave these to you.” He smiled coyly.

“That is why I am here.” Nico replied snarkily.

“Well.” Percy grinned and shut the door, disappearing back downstairs. Nico got the case stand out of the wardrobe and set it up, placing the largest case on it and opening it up. He looked around the room with its deep blue walls and its four poster bed, its fireplace with an elegant mantle and the beautiful pictures that framed the walls. He wished he had been born rich and not the bastard son of a Lord that couldn’t even acknowledge he was there.

But the last thing Lord Hades wanted to do was admit he had illegitimate children with a maid, so Nico hardly ever got money and even less so since Bianca died. Bianca seemed to be his favourite – of the children he had never met.

Nico sighed and resigned himself to the fact that there would always be those who ate the bread, and those who served the bread. He was in the latter category – but if he could get a crumb he would try his hardest to. Maybe Jason Grace would give him a crumb, but though Grace loved him, he could never.

Just as Nico began to get the clothes out of the case, Jason came in and quietly shut the door behind him. “Sorry, I have not finished yet.” Nico said.

“Looks like you haven’t even started.” Jason chuckled sitting down on his bed and taking off his jacket, laying it to the side.

“Let me help.” Nico said going to get his jacket and hanging it up.

“Stop doing that.” Jason said.

“It is what you are paying me for.” Nico said, not looking at Jason.

He heard him laugh. “I am only paying you so you can be here, with me. You do not have to work as hard as you once did, if you do not want to. I don’t really need a valet.”

“Why do you have one then?” Nico asked.

“Because it’s you.” Jason smiled and stood up, walking over to Nico.

Nico turned his face away and scowled. “Well, they’ll think it strange if you ask Percy or Hazel to unpack your things, polish your shoes, iron your clothes so I better do it. If you’ll excuse me sir.” Nico said.

“Have I made you upset?” Jason asked, gently resting a hand against Nico’s cheek.

“I made myself upset sir. I am sorry.” Nico said and returned to the case to unpack the things. Jason stood and watched.

“Why are you upset?” He asked gently.

“I was thinking of my sister, and my father.” Nico said quietly.

“What of them?” Jason asked.

“I do not care to burden your lordship with my petty problems.” Nico said, looking down and wishing he could sink into a hole and never return.  He had to act out his place.

“Well, I want to know.” Jason said.

Nico shook his head and Jason did not press further. He sighed. “My mother, well stepmother, says I should ask Lady Reyna to marry me.”

“And what is your view?”

“Well, it would be good for my image. I should be married by now – I need an heir – and so should she. She’s the second child of a great family and a great house on a similar level to mine so I cannot refuse what my mother says. If she agrees it should be a perfect marriage.” Jason sighed.

“Aside from the fact that you believe you could never love a woman.” Nico said. When Jason didn’t reply he said “Sorry, I spoke out of turn there.”

“You did not. It is true and you know that better than any.” Jason replied. “How I wish I could be in your place, no obligation to get married.”

Nico snorted. “I would much rather be in your place with a luxurious bed and luxurious food, not relying on an employer to pay my wage so that I can live, with money for medical care that could have saved my sister and balls to dance at every week – and have to share a bed with a woman I could never love, pretending I loved her – than be in my place with nothing, and not have to get married. I still cannot love who I chose.” Nico spat.

Jason stayed silent as Nico continued unpacking his things. “I would much rather have a case simply for shoes and collars and have to make love to a woman than be where I am and have been my entire life.” Nico continued. “You could not understand the hardships a servant faces, the hardships a bastard son of a lord faces.” Nico closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “It’s bad enough that I am a bastard but god chose to make me the way I am too and I would much rather be the way I am in your shoes than in mine if I have to be this way at all.” Nico ranted, he looked on the brink of crying.

Jason gently turned him round and gathered him in his arms, placing Nico’s hands on his chest. “Ssssh.” He whispered.

“I’m sorry. I’ll finish and go.” Nico said trying to get out of Jason’s arms.

“No you won’t” Jason said. “You’ll stay right here in my arms. I’m sorry for what I said. I didn’t realise.”

“You wouldn’t realise. None of you would.” Nico replied, sniffling.

“I know now.” Jason said, kissing Nico’s black hair.

Nico pulled away. “I better take your cases to the attic.” He said, he wiped his eyes and went. “Will you be getting changed for dinner?” He asked.

“I see no reason to. I’ll be eating alone tonight.” Jason replied.

Nico nodded and went with the cases.

“But do come back!” Jason called after him.

“I shall be back when you go to bed my lord.” Nico said and continued on his journey to put the cases away. He took the shoe case downstairs to polish the shoes and was surprised to find Hazel to come and sit with him, to talk while he worked. In his last house, everyone had been cold and unkind.

“How are you getting on?” Hazel asked.

“Ok.” Nico replied shortly.

“You look upset.”

“I was thinking about my sister.”

“Are you missing her?”

“Very much.”

“You’ll see her again, maybe on your days off, and you can write to her.”

“Will my letters go beyond the grave?” Nico asked.

“Oh.” Hazel put a hand on his arm. “She’s in a better place. She would not want you to be upset.”

Nico swallowed and put his head down. “You did not know her.” He said.

“Well.” Hazel said. “If you ever need to talk, I’m here.” She smiled. Nico couldn’t help but smile back.

“Thank you for showing me kindness.” He said.

“You give me no reason not to, so until that day comes.” Hazel said getting up and dusting off her apron. “I better sort the fires out while Lord Grace dines.”

“Yes.” Nico said. “Don’t want him to get cold in the night.” Hazel smiled and went upstairs.

After about 45 minutes Percy came down. “Lord Grace has gone up.” He said.

“Thank you.” Nico said and began to walk off.

He shut the door quietly behind him. “Percy said you were ready.” Nico said to Jason.

“Why didn’t you want to come up earlier?” Jason asked.

“I had work to do.” Nico replied, taking Jason’s blazer off and hanging it up. “Life is not as easy as you believe. I cannot spend it all talking to you.” Nico said bluntly. “Though I wish I could.” He said quietly after some moments of consideration.

“Are you avoiding me?” Jason asked.

“I assure you I am not.” Nico said.

“Will you be spending the night with me?” He asked.

“I am not sure.” Nico said.

“I’ve missed you.” Jason told him.

“And I have missed you, but surely, we have spent months apart – one more night will not kill you. I don’t want to give the other servants the wrong impression. In a smaller household they will notice absences much more.”

“Whatever you wish.” Jason said. “I will be here all night should you wish to join me. I would very much like you to. I’ve waited so long to be with you.”

“And I, for you.” Nico replied. “However it is simply not practical.”

Jason sighed as he got into bed and turned off the lamp by his bedside. Nico walked out of the room, turning the main light off as he went.

In bed that night, Nico cried. He cried because he was unsure of where he stood with Jason, he cried because of what Jason said of his hardships, he cried because of Bianca and how Hazel had been so kind, he cried for many reasons and eventually in a miserable puddle of tears he fell asleep. His pillow was still damp when he woke up.

He hurried to Jason’s room when the bell rung, knowing he would be waiting. “Whatever is the matter?” Jason asked as soon as he stepped into his room.

“Nothing.” Nico replied. “I thought I was okay this morning. Sorry.”

“If you are upset you must tell me.” Jason said.

“I do not wish to burden you with my problems.” Nico said.

“Do not worry of burdening me. I love you and I want you to be happy. How can you not see that?”

“You are a lord. I am a servant. I am not important.”

“To me, you are. To me, you are the sun that shines above us. Without you my world would stop turning.” Jason said.

“I do not have time for your romanticising. Your world is your fortune, not me. Yes, you are my world – but I am not yours. I could never be anything more than a foolish boy eager to love and eager to please.”

“You are not.” Jason said, suddenly angry. “What has gotten into you?”

“A sense of how the world works. We are both men. I am a servant, you are a lord. So many things are against us and yet you still try to love me, you still try to make it work when you cannot please me or yourself. Go and marry Lady Reyna, take me for a discreet bit on the side to play with when she cannot provide you with what you want but please” Nico closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “God, please do not lead me on and make me think I am something when I am nothing.”

“Nico.” Jason said tenderly. “You are everything.”

“I am nothing.”

Jason shook his head. “I will not have this argument.” He was still sat in bed and in that moment he pulled the covers back and shuffled over. He patted the space on the bad next to him recently vacated. “Come sit.” He said.

Nico went and was enveloped in his arms. “Stop with this absurd nonsense and let me love you.” Jason said and kissed him on the cheek.

“Will you marry Lady Reyna?” Nico asked, his cheek pressed against Jason’s chest.

“If she agrees. I shall go up in a weeks time and ask her.” Jason said.

“Will you take me with you?”

“Of course.”

Nico smiled at him, the smile that had first captured Jason’s attention the first time he visited his old house, such a long time ago now. Jason yawned. “I may sleep in a little longer.” He said. “Care to join me?” He asked.

“I don’t mind if I do. Nico said, adjusting to let Jason lay down. He lay partially on top of him and closed his eyes, listening to Jason’s heartbeat.

***

“Well, Lady Reyna’s mother was very pleased when she told her.” Jason smiled, bemused as Nico helped him undress. “Lady Reyna did not seem as happy but she said yes all the same.”

“You seem extremely happy for someone who said they didn’t want to marry but felt they had to.” Nico remarked.

“It means I may have an heir, something I need.”

“And if she cannot provide?”

Jason’s smile dropped. “I do not know. I guess my money and estate will go to some distant cousin I have never met.”

“And I shall be out of a job with a broken heart.” Nico sighed.

“I would leave you money in my will.”

Nico scoffed at that. “What would any decent man say to you leaving your valet money in your will. Really Jason.”

Jason stared at Nico. “You think me so unkind, when you are the one that twists me and paints me as unkind.”

“I do not mean to my lord.” Nico said, his head down. “It is difficult to see things in a positive light when you have led the life I have.”

Jason took Nico’s hands. “Well. Stop talking and kiss me you silly boy.” He said and Nico was happy to oblige.

***

Eventually they were driven to the train station after a long week. As they stood on the platform, they talked. “Do you like Lady Reyna?” Nico asked curiously.

“She is a good friend, but we could never be lovers.” Jason said, but he did not see Lady Reyna walking up behind him.

“And why is that?” She smiled curiously, taking her gloves off.

Jason looked back at Nico conflicted. “I trust you so I shall tell you, if you promise you can keep a secret.”

“I can keep many secrets.” Reyna said.

“I am in love with my valet.” Jason said confidently. He did not see the shock he expected to be so clear on Reyna’s face, instead she smiled knowingly.

“I think we will work well together Lord Grace.” She said.

“What do you mean?” Jason asked cocking his head to one side.

“Well, I am in love with my ladies maid.” She smiled victoriously. “But don’t tell.” She whispered leaning in close and then turning her back and walking off. Jason looked at Nico.

“Looks like we might have our happily ever after, after all.” He said.

“We can never have that, you know that. . . although we may be one step closer.”

Jason clapped his hands together as the train rolled in. “Wonderful. Glad to see some optimism in you Nico.” He patted Nico’s shoulder and went to get on the train. Nico walked down to third class and sighed.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments are very welcome and appreciated! :)


End file.
